She's Not Okay (That's Okay)
by Ktime
Summary: "... She remembers the feeling of hopelessness when she was attacked New Year's night, If her partner hadn't followed her that night, she'd be dead. She's knows that for a fact. So no, she doesn't regret following Kim. Not even for a second..." Episode Tag 6x14, and the aftermath. Kim & Hailey Friendship and Jay & Hailey Friendship/Relationship.


Hi Everyone, First time writing in a long time, so I'm a bit rusty.

This is a bit of a Hailey/Kim Friendship based on 6x14. Seemed like a good opportunity to explore Hailey's character a bit more, I feel like there's some underlining issues that haven't been looked at yet on the show. It delves a little from the storyline of the episode, sorry.

Not a lot of Adam in this, I don't have an issue with him or anything, just don't really know how to write is character.

It's not Beta'd or anything, so any and all mistakes are mine (there might be a few).

Enjoy.

* * *

"Found the right moment, just didn't really go as planned…"

"Well the phone call did; so we're back on plan, they're setting up a meet right now. So, we sit tight, wait for the team."

"That's good..."

"Yeah that's good…"

"Okay…"

Kim watched as Hailey's head lolled to the side, blood still trickling down her temple into her left ear. Her arms going limp by her side (as much as the heavy chains would let them).

"Hey, Hailey! Stay with me!" Kim called out loudly, as her friends eyes drifted shut.

"I'm good, I'm good" Hailey muttered, turning her head back towards Kim, revealing the left-hand side of face which was caked in blood.

"Yeah," Kim scoffed, rolling her eyes, "Cleary"

Hailey didn't respond, just offered Kim a smirk, before closing her eyes again.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Kim whispered harshly, "You could've gotten yourself killed!"

"I saw a chance," Hailey's voice still soft "I thought…"

"Thought what huh? You told me to be patient and I come back to find you beaten to a pulp on the floor!" Kim cut her off, "What? Your rules don't apply to you?"

"Kim…"

"Seriously Hailey, what the hell?"

"Sorry…" The apology was soft, and if they hadn't been in such close proximity Kim's not sure she would've heard it. Kim sighed looking back down at her feet.

"…Not just for this…" Hailey continued before being cut off.

"Stop…"

"Kim…"

"Shut-up, we're not doing this, not now."

Kim knew what Hailey was going to say, knew what she was trying to apologise for, she couldn't deal with that. Not here, not now.

The discovery of Hailey and Adam's relationship had come like a punch to the gut.

Not because she necessarily still had feelings for ex-fiancé, but because two people who she considered good friends had lied to her, for who know how long.

She just can't figure out why they hadn't told her.

She would've understood.

She may not have liked it, but she would have understood, even been supportive.

If they'd just given her the chance.

But they didn't, and that's what hurts the most.

"I just…" Hailey tried to continue.

"When we get out of here, you can explain everything okay?" Kim responded, putting emphasis on the word 'when'.

"Yeah… okay," Hailey's response was quiet, and Kim could hear the trepidation in her friends' voice.

"We're going to get out of this Hailey, alright?" Kim pushed, "You've just got to hang in there"

There was no response from the blonde as her head once again lolled off to the side.

"Hailey! Hey, you've got to stay awake for me," Kim called out, trying to get as close to her friends as her restraints would let her, "HAILEY!"

The loud voice startled Hailey who opened her eyes suddenly before closing them again.

"Huh… What…?"

The confusion in the blondes' voice worried Kim, she knew given the blood as well as the slurred words, there was a strong chance Hailey was concussed at the least; but there was something else there.

There was a look in Hailey's eyes, a haunted look.

A look that suggest to Kim there was something else going on.

And yes, the current situation would be enough to throw anyone for a loop.

But Kim had a sneaky suspicion that there was something else running through her partners head.

She needed to get a better look at her.

She needed to know what exactly happened when she was making that phone call.

But she couldn't move, she couldn't break the zip ties.

The only thing she could do was keep her awake.

"Hailey, I need you to sit up for me okay?" She called out, "Use the chain, pull yourself up."

When the blonde only stirred in response, Kim spoke up again.

"Hailey! You've got to stay awake; you can't be nodding off with those kind of head injuries okay? You've got to sit up!"

"… I know, I know," Hailey muttered reluctantly grabbing the chains around her wrists and using them to hoist herself into a seated position, "This isn't my first beat down."

Kim looked at her questionably at the latest comment, but before she had a chance to question it, she saw, the colour drain from her friends face as the blonde leant her bodyweight on the pole.

Hailey was just so tired, all she wanted to do was sleep for the next week.

"You good?" Kim quickly questioned.

"I'm okay," Hailey responded, her eyes remaining closed as she focused on breathing try to stem the nausea building up (the last she wanted to do was throw up on her clothes). As she continued to take in deep breaths, she noticed the nail hole in the left-hand side of stomach, reaching down look at the wound through her jacket.

"Shit, what happened there?" Kim questioned as she followed the blondes gaze down to her stomach, eye's widening when she saw the source of the blood.

"Nail sticking out of the plank of wood," Hailey responded, nodding over to the discarded item, "It's fine, nothing serious or anything."

"Okay okay," Kim responded, hoping she wasn't lying to her (knowing there was nothing she could do even if she was).

"Why did you follow me?" Kim questioned suddenly.

"What?" Hailey questioned, not following the train of thought.

"Today," Kim clarified, "When we were going to the car, why'd you follow me?"

"I knew Jay was stuck inside, I didn't want to lose eyes on you," Hailey responded, "I didn't mean to be seen"

"Did you think I couldn't handle it?"

"What? No!"

"Then why?"

Hailey sighed, looking down at her chained hands as she answered, "Everyone needs back up, especially undercover."

The lingering tone in Hailey's response told Kim there was something more to what she was saying; but she could tell from the far off look in her eye's it wasn't something she wanted to get into (especially here).

Kim responded with a light chuckle, trying to change the subject;

"Bet you regret that now,"

"No," There was no hesitation in Hailey's voice, "I don't."

Hailey looked up at Kim, locking eyes, holding her gaze with a sure look.

Because Hailey questions a lot of things in this job.

In this unit.

She's made a lot of mistakes in her career.

Decisions she regrets.

But this isn't one of them.

She's sure of that.

She knows what it's like to be stuck by yourself undercover.

The fear of knowing that no one knows where you are.

To be alone.

She remembers the feeling of hopelessness when she was attacked New Year's night.

Garret had saved her life, if her partner hadn't followed her that night, she'd be dead.

She's knows that for a fact.

So no, she doesn't regret following Kim.

No at all.

Even as she chained to a pole with blood dripping down her neck.

She'd do it again.

She's sure of that.

"Are you okay?" Kim's worried voice cut off Hailey's train of thought.

"I mean I've been better…"

"No, I mean…," Kim trailed off struggling to find the right words, "You seem distracted? Like there's something else going on?"

"I'm fine," Hailey response was far from convincing, "Just need to get out of here."

Kim didn't believe her, not for a second.

She could put it down to the current situation,

Or the head injury (someone else might).

But there's something else going on.

Because Hailey doesn't look scared, not of what's on the other side of that door anyway.

No, her battle looks internal.

And Kim can the see the way she tries to keep herself calm.

The deep breaths to try and slow her heartbeat.

The closing of the eye's as if she's trying to block thoughts from coming to the surface.

And yes, it could be the concussion.

But Kim trusts her instincts, and right now they're telling her that there's more to what's happening than the current situation. She makes a silent promise to get to the bottom of it when they get out here.

…If they get out of here.

* * *

Kim thought she'd be jealous as she watched Adam hold Hailey is his arms, prying her hands from around the neck of the man who had spent the last few hours threatening them.

But as he continued to whisper words of reassurance in Hailey's ear, all Kim felt was relief.

Relief that this ordeal was finally over.

Relief that they'd been found.

Relief, that someone had been able to talk Hailey out of making a terrible decision in the heat of the moment. Because given everything that had happened, she doesn't need that on her conscience (neither of them do).

She thought Hailey was going to kill him.

She thinks if Adam and Antonio hadn't have shown when they did, that maybe she might have.

Kim let out a sigh as the adrenalin began to wear off, she watched Antonio restrain Logan as Hailey finally released the tight grasp, she had around his neck. Kim vaguely registered Adam's voice in the background radioing Voight, and the haggard coughing from the man underneath Antonio's knee, still struggling to get his breath back.

She found herself wondering whose neck would look worse.

Given the look in Hailey's eyes and the thickness of the chains still keeping her locked up, Kim thinks maybe she might have come off better (she's oddly proud of that).

She looked down to see Hailey basically collapse into Adams grasp as he finished the call.

"Whoa, Hailey? Hales?" Adam asked looking down, trying to get her attention, "We need to get these chains off! Where are the keys?"

"Check him, they're not in here," Kim answered nodding toward Antonio and Logan. She'd checked the room already; they both knew there was nothing in there to get her free.

He patted him down but couldn't find anything.

"Where are they?" Antonio demanded pushing Logan's face into the concrete.

"I dunno man, I didn't do it!" He responded desperately struggling to force the words out, "It wasn't me."

"We're going to need some bolt cutters in here," Ruzek spoke into his radio, "Get him out of here!"

Antonio pulled Logan to his feet, not giving him a chance to get his balance before pushing him forward, the pressure causing him to trip up the stairs. Antonio had seen the bruises on his partners neck, and it was impossible to miss the blood on Hailey's face. He got him out of the house and as far away from his friends as possible (he wouldn't be coming anywhere near them ever again).

"Hailey?" Kim asked moving towards them, "You still with us?"

Kim crouched down next to her, lifting her jacket to have a look at the nail wound on her stomach. She was relived to see Hailey wasn't lying earlier and it wasn't too serious, though the bruising surrounding the wound and other parts of her rib cage could be cause for concern.

"Told you it was fine," Hailey muttered to Kim, as though reading her mind.

"Fine isn't the word I would use," Kim responded smiling back slightly.

"Jesus Christ, what happened?" Adam demanded looking at Kim for an answer who just shook her head. "Kim?"

But before she could answer Jay and Voight came through the door, Jay with Bolt cutters in his hand. He moved straight towards his partner who was lying bloodied on the ground.

As he saw her, all he could think about were the photos from the Booth case.

How he felt when he saw the damage done to his partner.

How he swore he'd never let anything like that happen again.

Yet here they are.

He was supposed to have her back.

But it happened again.

"Shit Hailey…"

"I'm okay," Hailey looked up, cutting off his train of thought, "I'm okay, I just want to get out of here."

"Yeah okay, hold up…" He responded as he got the bolt cutters around the padlock, "Almost there."

As the padlock snapped off, Jay unwrapped the chain, and as soon as she was free Hailey tried to push herself off the ground shoving Adam away from her as she stumbled to her feet, only getting a couple of steps before her legs have gave way and nausea kicked in, collapsed forward, Voight and Kim reaching out to keeper upright.

"Whoa, hey, calm down!" Voight said as he tried to keep her up, "It's okay."

"I just need to get out of here," She said desperately, looking at Kim who held her other arm, "please."

"You need to sit down Hailey," Adam pressured getting to his feet and walking over to them.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Hailey said pushing out of Voight's grasp, "Please, I just need to get out."

"You heard the lady, Burgess help her out. Adam, go help Antonio," Voight said, stepping in. He could see Hailey was getting worked up, and she didn't need or want an audience.

"Sarge…"

"Adam!" Voight interrupted him, "Go!"

Adam wanted to protest, that was obvious, he looked at Voight with fire in his eyes. He turned to look at Hailey who was using most of her energy just to stay upright.

He wanted to stay with her.

He should stay with her.

But knows he pushed his luck already on this case.

And he knows they're both going to have more questions to answer after today.

With one last look at his girlfriend he (reluctantly) walked out the front door.

"You sure you're okay?" Voight turned to Hailey.

"I just want to get out of here," She said for the fourth time in as many minutes (Voight didn't miss the fact that she didn't answer the question). The panic on her face starting to build. Not that he blamed her, she'd been chained up in this room for over two hours. He'd want to get out of there too.

"Okay let's go," Kim responded placing her arm on her partners shoulder, guiding her up the stairs. Jay and Voight following closely behind just in case.

They got outside and Kim lead Hailey around the outside of the house and lowered her down to sit on the front stairs.

"Ambo's are five minutes out…" Voight stated, cutting off the looks of protest from his officers before they could begin to argue, "You're both going to the hospital, it's not a discussion."

As they sat down Hailey began to sway again, leaning away from Kim who on instinct wrapped her arm around Hailey's side to try and keep her upright. Her eyelids blinking slowly as she tried to focus her site on a set point.

"Hey you good?" Kim asked quickly, alerting Jay and Voight who turned in their direction.

Hailey only managed a slight shake of the head, before she leant to the side of the stairs and was sick. If it wasn't for Kim's arm around her, she's fairly certain she would've passed out into the vomit. Kim continued to hold her up as she emptied the content of her stomach on the edge of the stairs.

When she was finally finished, she leant her head forward into her hands, resting her elbows onto her knees.

"That would be a no," Kim replied to her own question, resting her hand on Hailey's back. Jay and Voight came over, both looking on with concern. Hailey just kept her head rested in her hands, the blood from her face beginning to stain her fingers. She stayed still, focusing on breathing, trying to stem the nausea that was still building in her stomach.

The minutes past agonisingly slow, but finally sirens could be heard in the distance. As the ambulance approached, Hailey winced as the loud noises from the vehicle somehow managed to make her headache worse. Jay went straight over to them and seconds later the alarms had stopped.

Emily Foster and Sylvie Brett both jumped out of the ambulance, walking over to the two girls still seated on the stairs. Jay giving them a brief rundown of the situation.

"Hailey, Kim how are we doing?" Brett asked as she crouched down in front of the two, taking into account the blood she could see in Hailey's hair (her face still buried in her own hands), and the vomit that was next to her.

Kim offered her friend a small smile as Hailey just continued to sty in the same position offering a slight groan in response, inciting a sympathetic chuckle from the blonde paramedic.

"That good hey?" Brett responded, "Can you lift you head up and look at me?"

Hailey reluctantly lifted her head up to look at Brett, and the paramedic managed to hide her surprise at the amount of blood covering her face.

"Okay," She started looking at the wounds, trying to clear way some of the blood, the detective wincing slightly as she pushed too hard, "Sorry! Can you try and follow the light for me?" Brett shined her penlight in Hailey's eyes checking her pupil dilation. As soon as the light reach her eyes the blonde blinked and turned away.

"Okay," Brett said, moving her hands to the back of Hailey's neck, "Neck pain at all?"

"Not too bad…"

"That's a yes," Jay interrupted from where he was watching anxiously

Brett smirked slightly again, before continuing;

"How many times has she thrown up?"

"Just once," Kim answered for her.

"Any other injuries?"

"She copped a nail to the side of her stomach," Kim answered, looking over Foster who was assessing the bruising surrounding her neck.

"What?" Brett exclaimed in surprise, moving to look down at her stomach.

"It's not that bad," Hailey finally spoking up, attempting to glare at Kim, but it ended up coming out as a grimace as Brett prodded at wound in her stomach.

"When was your last tetanus shot?" Brett asked, looking at the wound.

"Couple of years?" Hailey answered more as a question then a response.

"Might need to get another on when we get to the hospital," Brett stood up, "Are you right to get to the ambulance?"

Hailey nodded and started to stand up taking Brett's hand and using Kim's support to get to her feet. They waited for a moment before they started the small walk over to the truck.

"You're coming too," Foster said to Kim as she gestured for her to follow Hailey and Brett.

"I'm fine," Kim began to protest.

"Kim," Voight interrupted, "You're going, keep an eye on Hailey, get yourself looked after, and we'll meet you at the hospital."

They got to the back of the truck and Brett helped Hailey onto the bed, Jay jumped in afterwards, as she reluctantly lowered her head onto the pillow.

"You good partner?"

"All good." She responded offering up her hand as Jay grabbed it and looked at her, holding her gaze for a second.

"I'm glad you're okay," He nodded at Sylvie before jumping out the back and clasping Kim on the shoulder as she moved to get in.

"Kim you can take a seat next to me," Brett smiled as she patted the seat next to her, "Make sure you hold on tight!"

"Really?" Hailey questioned raising her eyebrows at Brett with an incredulous look.

"Have you seen Foster drive?" Brett replied quickly, as Emily closed the doors with a distant 'hey watch it' in the background."

Brett finished making sure Hailey was secure up as the ambulance started to roll out.

"We're about 20 minutes out," Foster called from the front.

Kim leaned back against her chair with a sigh, shutting her eyes.

Feeling like she could finally relax.

She's okay.

Hailey's okay.

They're safe.

They're going home.

"Rough day huh?" Sylvie asked looking at her with a sad sort of smile, as she continued to wipe the blood away from Hailey's face.

"Yeah something like that," Kim replied looking at her returning the smile, "She going to be okay?"

Kim looked down at her friend who was lying with her eyes closed.

"Hopefully," Brett responded with a smile, "We'll need to get her a CT scan, at the very least she has a concussion, but as long as there's no lasting damage everything else will be fine. Head wounds bleed heavily as you know, and the stomach wound doesn't seem to have hit anything serious."

"She's right here you know?" Hailey interrupted tiredly looking over at the two.

"In my defence, you haven't really been a great conversationalist today." Kim replied with a smirk, as Brett chuckled a bit.

"But since you're up for a chat, have you had any major head injuries before?" Brett asked trying to get some more information.

"Minor concussion last year," She answered referring to the altercation she had with Booth the second time, "ER admission in 2015, fracture eye socket, moderate concussion." She didn't even really consider the fact the Kim was still in the back of the ambulance with them until she spoke up.

"Jesus what happened?" Kim asked shock evident in her voice.

Hailey's eyes widened as she realised her mistake, looking over briefly at Kim before looking away.

"Long story," she offered vaguely hoping Kim would drop it (by the look on her face that clearly wasn't going to happen), "I'll explain it over a drink sometime."

Kim held her gaze for a moment, before seeming to accept the answer provided and settling back into the chair, her mind once again drifting off to how much she clearly didn't know about the women lying next to her.

"You should probably see someone about all this you know," Brett stated, looking at both of them, continuing before either officer could cut her off, "I know I know, you're fine and you've been through worse, and whatever else you're going to say; but this kind of stuff will build up and if you don't get help you both know what could happen. Just think about it okay?"

When she was met with nothing but silence, Sylvie just sighed. "Well you both know where to find me if you need to talk someone, it might be good to have a chat to someone with an outside perspective."

"Thanks Brett," Kim replied offering the paramedic a smile.

"Yeah thanks, we're okay though," Hailey answered as well, looking over at Kim, as if she wasn't 100 percent convinced of her own answer.

Kim smiled back as reassuringly as she could, "We're okay," trying to offer some form of comfort.

"Okay," Brett answered with a smile, knowing not to push the subject any further. She continued to wipe the blood of Hailey's face. She noticed the blonde's breathing quicken up and her eye's squeezing tightly as if she was trying to block out the pain.

"Hailey? Hey you okay?" Brett asked as she noticed the ashen colour in her face, "You going to throw up again?"

Brett didn't wait for an answer before grabbing a bag and handing to her, just as Hailey managed to roll over and vomit into the bag. It was a short spell this time (considering there wasn't much left in her stomach), and once she was finished, she rolled back, resting her head against the pillow throwing her arm over face.

"Shit," Hailey groaned as Brett disposed of the soiled bag, before moving back to her side and pulling out her pen light.

"Hailey, I need you to follow the light for me okay?" Brett said, her tone leaving no room for argument. Hailey looked up and did as she was asked, finding the task a little bit easier than the previous time she'd attempted it.

"You're okay," Brett said resting her hand on her Hailey's shoulder, "I'm going to put an IV in to restore some of the fluids you've lost, Kim just keeping talking to her until we get to Med, we're almost there Hailey"

Kim leaned forward trying to get Hailey's attention, "Well we've got 10 minutes, enough time to explain those concussion stories?"

Hailey sighed, knowing there was no way to really get out of this conversation.

It wasn't like she'd gone out of way to hide what had happened on the undercover case.

She just didn't want people to look at her differently.

She didn't need their sympathy,

Or their pity.

That night had already taken so much away from her.

It was easier to pretend that it just never happened.

If you pretend long enough sometimes you even start to believe it yourself.

But she couldn't keep pretending.

Not now,

Not after the day they'd just had.

She remembers lying on the floor of that basement, thinking he was never going to stop.

Thinking she was going to die.

And all she could see was Booths' face lingering over her.

Only this time she knew no one was coming to save her.

Because Garret was dead,

And maybe that's her fault too.

Things around her seem to have a habit of falling apart.

Her family,

Her partner.

"Hey," Kim interrupts her increasing self-deprecating thoughts as she places her hand on Hailey's shoulder.

"It was Booth," the reply came out emotionlessly, Hailey never taking her eyes from the roof of the ambulance.

Kim looked her with questioning eyes.

"I know the second time was Booth, I was there, Jay and I had to practically drag you to get check out," Kim replied trying to coax more information, "what about 2015?"

"It was Booth…"

"No I mean…" Kim began to ask again, thinking that maybe Hailey had gotten confused or was trying to avoid the question, but as she saw the hollow look in her eyes she realised her friend wasn't confused at all.

Kim remembers that case.

Remembered how out of character Hailey had been.

How close Booth had come to her in the office.

Remembered how worried Jay had been when he'd called her begging her to trace Hailey's phone because she'd gone off books.

She knew it had been personal for the detective.

She hadn't realised how much so.

Until now.

And Kim starts to think that maybe that's who Hailey was thinking of when she had her chained wrists locked around their offenders' throat.

Because there was more to Hailey's reaction today then just what had happened.

Yes, today had been a disaster, and it alone is enough to shake anyone, but not Hailey.

And as Kim stares at her friend, her eye's still staring blankly ahead, she thinks Hailey might have more to worry about then a concussion when this is all over.

"Shit Hails," Kim answered softly, leaning forward to place her hand on her arm, "I'm sorry."

The contact was enough to shake Hailey out of her thoughts and she turned her head to look at Kim and tried to give her a reassuring smile.

"It's fine, I'm fine," and for the second time today, those words came out as more of question then a statement, a question she desperately wanted an answer too.

"I know," Kim tried to reassure her, pretending not to notice the tears slip from Hailey's eyes before the blonde was able to wipe them away.

"It's not really public knowledge, I mean…" Hailey tries to explain before Kim cuts her off.

"I won't say anything I promise."

They spent the rest trip in a comfortable sort of silence, Kim keeping Hailey awake with meaningless small talk.

Talking about everything, and anything.

Saying nothing.

* * *

Kim didn't believe her when Hailey said she was 'all good'.

Not physically.

And certainly not emotionally.

They had a conversation (the one Hailey had wanted to have at least).

Discussed Adam,

She listened to Hailey discuss another part of her past that shaped her into who she was.

Kim held no ill feelings.

She understands what it's like to be woman in the police force.

Knows what rumours and speculation can do to someone.

To their career.

She understands why Hailey didn't say anything.

And she tells her as much.

Tells her they're 'good'.

And they are, but Kim is worried.

And that worry only increases when Hailey denies her invitation to Mollys.

She says she's not feeling up to it.

And considering the day they've both had, that's completely understandable.

But there's something else lingering.

Past the bruising.

Past the exhaustion.

There's a look of defeat in Hailey's eyes.

And Kim is worried.

* * *

"_Need a ride?" Brett voice interrupted Kim's train of thoughts as she stood outside the ambulance bay, phone in hand about to call Antonio to pick her up. After getting checked out and cleared, she was going to wait around for Hailey but, Adam has messaged and said he was on his way, and she wasn't overly keen to linger._

"_That would be great actually, thanks." Kim replied with a smile. "Do you guys just wait around here to be a taxi service?"_

"_I'll have you know we treated an old Lady who got scratched by a cat in the time you were inside bludging." Sylvie quipped back smirking_

"_My deepest apologies," Kim response was laced with sarcasm, and Sylvie just continued to smile._

"_Foster you're riding in the back!" Brett called out with a laugh before jumping in the drivers side._

"_How does this always happen?" Foster replied, acting hurt._

"_Seniority Sister!"_

_Kim found herself chuckling at the banter between the two before getting into ambulance 61._

"_So, you all good?" Brett asked as they got on the road._

"_All good, just like I told you." _

"_Hey don't blame me!" Sylvie defended, "If Voight tells us to take you to the hospital, you're going to the hospital, that man terrifies me!"_

"_Yeah he can be like that" Kim laughed back, looking out the window._

"_Did you hear anything on Upton?" Brett asked._

"_She was still having scans done when I left," Kim answered, "Adam is picking her up."_

"_Fair enough…" Sylvie trailed off "…Okay I know it's not really any of my business, but you two are my friends and I feel like I need to say this…"_

_Kim turned to look at her as if giving the blonde paramedic permission to continue._

"_Head injuries can cause more than just physical side affects…"_

"_What are you saying?"_

"_Depression at it's most basic form is a chemical imbalance in the brain, and concussion is essentially damage to the brain. Head injuries can cause issues to surface and re-surface included anxiety and PTSD. I know I don't know Hailey well, but given some of the things she mentioned on the way to Med and everything you both went through today, I don't think it would be a bad thing if someone kept a close eye on her." _

"_So what?" Kim clarified rather defensively, "You're saying she got hit in the head and she's going to go into a depressive state or something?"_

"_No, that's not what I'm saying at all," Brett replied remaining perfectly calm, "I'm saying, given the events of the day, the physical damage the she's suffered could have detrimental impact on her mental health as well."_

_When she was met with nothing but silence, Brett continued, "I just wanted to let you know, in case something happened, I know a bit of what it's like to deal with stuff on your own, and I don't want either of you to have to go through that."_

_Kim sighed looking back out the window._

"_Thanks Sylvie, sorry I just…" She trailed off, not really knowing where the sentence was heading. "It's been a long day."_

"_Hey if you need anything at all, either of you, someone to talk too, anything at all, I'm here okay?" Brett answered, putting her hand comfortingly on Kim's thigh._

"_Thanks," Kim responded sincerely, "And thanks for the ride."_

_Kim jumped out of the truck as they pulled up to police station, thanking Foster as they crossed paths._

"_See you around guys," Kim waved them off as they started the ambulance._

"_Count on it," Sylvie said through the wound down window as they drove off._

"_Brett?" Foster asked, when they were back on the road, "What you said earlier, about dealing with things on your own? You know I'm here if you ever need anything yeah?"_

_Sylvie smiled at her partner, "Yeah I know."_

* * *

"I'll give you a ride home," Kim says as they make there way back into the bullpen to collect their stuff.

"It's alright, I got my car…"

"Hails, I'm not letting you drive home," Kim interrupted, "I'll pick you up in the morning and you can buy me a coffee."

Hailey smiles slightly before nodding and following Kim out to her car. Kim handed Hailey her phone and told her to put her address into maps (the fact they'd worked together for almost two years and yet she didn't know where her friend lived only now creating cause for concern).

They spent most of the car ride in silence, Kim focusing on the road ahead; Hailey, not really focusing on anything.

As they got to her apartment Kim pulled into an empty spot and turned off her car. Hailey's gaze still hadn't moved from the window, she didn't even notice the change in momentum until Kim reached over and grabbed her shoulder, startling the blonde out of her stupor.

"Shit, sorry" Hailey apologised, unbuckling her seatbelt, "Thanks for the ride Kim."

Hailey didn't notice the car had been turned off until Kim got out of the car with her.

"You don't have to come up…"

"I'm not leaving Hails, so invite me up would you, it's freezing out here," Kim interrupts, heading towards the apartment.

Hailey was about to argue.

She wanted to argue.

But also, the thought of being alone wasn't an appealing one.

So, she smiled, nodding her head slightly and gesturing for Kim to follow her.

As the made their way to her apartment Kim notice Hailey becoming slightly unsteady on her feet, she took the keys from her friends' hand as the blonde struggled to open the door.

"It's okay, I got it" Kim's statement was more reassuring then condescending and Hailey didn't object to handing over the keys, her hands shaking as she did so.

"You've been holding out on me!" Kim exclaimed as she entered the apartment, "This place is awesome, why have I never been here before?"

"Make yourself at home," Hailey laughed gesturing around the place before making here way to couch, "Whiskey is in the top shelf, glasses below it."

Kim worked around the kitchen, every now and then sparing a glance at her friend who seemed lost in her own thoughts, staring off into the distance. She poured them both a drink, bring the glasses and the bottle over to where Hailey was on the couch.

The longer the silence dragged on the more certain Kim was that Brett was probably right.

Because something was wrong.

Because Hailey wasn't okay,

She wasn't even trying to pretend to be okay.

And that was the main concern for Kim.

Because for the last two years, no matter what happened, whenever she asked; Hailey was always 'fine'.

That was always her response,

Even when it was so clearly obvious that she wasn't.

She'd put up a front, push it aside, and she'd say she was fine.

And for the most part, everyone would believe it her.

She'd say she was okay,

And they'd take her word for it.

And God, right now Kim wished she didn't.

"This shouldn't be happening," Hailey's soft voice breaks Kim out of her thoughts.

"What do you mean?"

"What happened today… it shouldn't…"

The silence lingers for a while, Kim not willing to interrupt, hoping Hailey would continue.

"I survived my childhood," Hailey continued, "I did, despite everything, I tried to protect my brothers from dad, I tried to look after mum… I'm not saying I did a could job, that's pretty obvious, but I tried. And I survived it… And then Booth happened, and I survived that too."

Kim tries to hide her reaction.

She wonders how she could work side by side with someone for as long as she has and still know so little about them.

She wonders what else she doesn't know.

"This… What happened today… This shouldn't affect me," Hailey finally turned to make eye contact with Kim, looking for some sort of answer.

Because in the shit storm that has been Hailey's life leading up to this moment.

What happened today shouldn't be anything more then a bump in the road.

But fuck, she can't stop shaking.

She's scared.

And for the life of her, she can't figure out why.

Because she's home,

She's on her couch, Kim is next to her.

She's okay.

She's fine.

…

She's not.

"I don't know what's happening, I don't know why this happening, I'm sorry…"

"Hey," Kim cuts her off before she can continue, "You don't ever need to apologise, okay? Especially not for this!"

Hailey looked at her as if she wanted to respond, but she didn't know what to say. Kim took that as her cue to continue.

"Hails, you're allowed to feel like this, however you're feeling. What you've been through in the past, and I'm so sorry for what has happened to you; but that doesn't negate what happened today. Just because something like this has happened before, doesn't mean you're immune to all this, not at all."

"I'm sorry, I just… I should be fine…" Hailey trailed off.

Because this doesn't make sense.

She's not okay, and she has no idea why.

There's no _logical_ reason.

And she's hates that she's not okay.

And that just makes it all worse somehow.

It's viscous cycle, that keeps repeating over and over in her head.

She's upset.

And she's upset at herself for being upset, and she can't break the fucking loop.

"I'm okay…" Hailey forces out again, trying to convince herself rather than Kim.

"It's okay if you're not," Kim interrupted her, "It's okay to not be fine, it's okay to need help sometimes, that's what we're here for."

Hailey looked at her trying to blink away the tears before nodding slightly and turning away to wipe her face.

The moment was interrupted by a knock that the door. Hailey startled before settling back down and smiling slightly to herself; putting two and two together and realising who the only person to be knocking at her door and this time of night (after a day like today) would be.

Of course, Kim thought. Adam would be coming around, why wouldn't he be?

"That'll be Jay," Hailey interrupts her, as if sensing Kim's uncomfortableness, when the brunet gives her a confused look, Hailey just shrugs slightly before pushing herself off the couch, "It's a thing."

Hailey walks to the door, opening it to find Jay standing outside Tequila in one hand the classic Jay smirk on his face.

She doesn't say anything.

She doesn't need to at this point.

She just gestures for him to come in and closes the door behind him.

"Hey Kim," He says nonchalantly, having noticed her car parked out the front of the apartment.

"Hey," Kim answers still a little unsure, but relaxes as Hailey makes her way back to the couch and sits next to her.

"Are you saying I didn't need to bring this?" Jay asks waving the tequila bottle in the air, before gesturing to the two untouched glasses on the coffee table.

"I think you left this here last time," Hailey answers, "You can have mine; I really shouldn't be drinking with this concussion anyway."

"Works for me," Jay agrees easily making is way to join his team members, grabbing the glass before sitting down on the spare chair.

He keeps glancing at his partner, trying to pretend he's not worried (not doing a very good job of it).

He can see the red rims surrounding her eyes.

He can tell she's been crying,

He's worried he may have interrupted something.

But he's not going to leave.

He spent too many hours today, wondering if his partner was okay.

He thought she was going to die.

He'll never forget the dread he felt seeing her chained up in that basement, blood covering her face.

He needs this as much as she does.

"You okay?"

Hailey can see the concern etching across Jays faces.

She can see Kim looking at her, begging her to continue the conversation from before Jay arrived.

They're both worried about her.

They're both here.

And maybe that's enough.

Because Hailey's not okay.

And maybe Kim was right.

Maybe it's okay that she's not okay.

Because she's been there for Jay through some of the lowest points.

And now he's here, and Kim's here.

And as she glances at Kim, then back to Jay, she knows that they're not going anywhere.

"Umm…No…. I don't think… No, I'm not."

And the floodgates open;

She cries for her lost childhood.

She cries for Garret.

For the pain Booth caused.

For the events of today.

For herself.

Kim scoots over and wraps her arm around Hailey's shoulder and holds her as she sobs. Jay sits back in his chair, tears forming in his own eyes as he watches his partner break.

He doesn't want to see her like this.

But he wouldn't be anywhere else.

And as glances at Kim, he knows she wouldn't be either.

He's not naïve enough to think this will solve all her problems, he knows they've still got a long way to go (Hell, he's still got a long way to go, and he's been getting help for months).

This isn't something that just goes away overnight,

Hell, it's not really something that ever goes away.

He knows the signs of PTSD,

He knows what it looks like when someone fights the battle alone.

He tried that,

Hailey wouldn't let him; she was there for him.

Just as he's going to be for her (whether she wants him to or not).

Because she's not alone,

As Hailey finally breaks down in her apartment, Kim's arm wrapped around her shoulder, Jay's eyes looking on in concern, she realises that.

She's not okay,

But she's surrounded by people who care about her.

People who are there for her.

Who always will be.

She's not okay

But that's okay.

* * *

It's not finished... I don't think, I think I've still got at least another couple of chapters in mind.

The thins mentioned about concussions/depression are true, so I figured it would be a good opportunity to look into that further.

Let me know what you thought.


End file.
